Taoism
Shit happens.
Confucianism
Confucius says: “Shit happens”.
Buddhism
If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Zen Buddhism
Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism
This shit happened before.
Shintoism
This shit happens everywhere.
Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Christianity
Shit happens to sinners.
Islam
Shit happens if it is the will of God.
Astrology
Shit is written in the stars.
Catholicism
If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism
Shit happens, so let 's make it worthwhile.
Lutheranism
When shit happens, change the subject.
Calvinism
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Anglicanism
More shit happens in Rome.
Presbyterianism
This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalism
It 's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodism
It 's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve it with grape juice.
Congregationalism
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as that happens to another.
Hasidism
Shit never happens the same way twice.
Orthodox Judaism
So shit happens, already!
Samaritanism
Your shit is my shit.
Zoroastrianism
Shit happens half of the time.
Jainism
All shit happens to be alive.
Sikhism
Leave our shit alone.
Ba'hai
We are the shit that happens.
Sufism
The wise man has other things on his mind when shit happens.
Mithra
Shit shall continue to happen until the return of Mithras.
Platonism
There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
Animism
Some shit happier than others.
Baptism
It 's not too bad if shit happens just before washing.
Anabaptism
It 's not so bad if shit happens, just clean up afterwards.
Mennonitism
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it 's OK.
Greek Orthodox Church
Shit happens, usually in three's.
Russian Orthodox Church
Do not think shit does not happen.
Seventh Day Adventism
No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Televangelism
Send more shit.
Evangelism
If shit happens, pass it on.
Unitarianism
All shit that happens, is one.
Universalism
All that happens, is one shit.
Christian Science
Shit happening is all in your mind.
Secular Humanism
Shit evolves.
Gnosticism
If shit happens, it 's a secret.
Theosophy
You don't know half of the shit that happens.
Polytheism
Shit happens for a variety of reasons.
Occultism
Sh, it happens.
Mysticism
Some weird shit is going on.
Shamanism
Holy shit!
Quakers
Let us not quarrel over this shit.
Amish
Shit happening is good for the soil.
Deism
God did not make this shit happen.
Sophism
If shit happens, don't step in it.
Solopsism
If it doesn't happen, it can't be shit.
Utopianism
This shit doesn't smell at all.
Darwinism
This shit was once food.
Creationism
No shit happened before Sunday 23 October 4004 BC.
Puritanism
S*** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that.
Fundamentalism
Shit happens from within.
Chauvinism
No matter how shit, we happen.
Despotism
Let only one shit happen.
Feminism
Shit is male as it happens.
Nationalism
Shit happens in the global village.
Patriotism
Our shit happens better than yours.
Fascism
Shit happens right on time.
Marxism
Shit has nothing to lose but to happen.
Stalinism
In five years, shit will happen on an industrial scale.
Communism
Let 's share this shit.
Capitalism
That 's my shit.
Socialism
The same shit happens to everyone.
Anarchism
This shit is going to hit the fan.
Commercialism
If shit happens, sell it.
Head-in-the-sandism
If there is no shit, it doesn't happen.
Conservatism
Shit doesn't happen like it used to.
Opportunism
It would be silly for shit not to happen.
Idolism
Let 's bronze this shit.
Purism
If shit must happen, let only shit happen.
Idealism
Be prepared that all shit will happen, eventually.
Apathism
Who gives a shit?
Freudianism
Shit that happens is like sex.
Behaviorism
Shit is conditioned to happen.
Empiricism
Shit only happens if I see it happen.
Relativism
Every shit happens differently.
Stoicism
This shit doesn't bother me.
Epicurism
Shit happens after a good meal.
Impressionism
From a distance, this shit looks like a garden.
Expressionism
Excrement comes and goes.
Cubism
Happen shits.
Minimalism
More than enough shit happens as it does.
Existentialism
What is this shit, anyway?
Objectivism
Shit happens to happen.
Individualism
Let 's make shit happen so at least we know who to blame.
Populism
If shit happens, silence the perpetrators.
Progressivism
Less shit happens every day, relatively speaking.
Egalitarianism
Shit and no shit happen both.
Orwellianism
Big shit is happening to you.
Mormonism
This shit is going to happen again.
Scientology
If shit happens, see ‘Dianetics’, page 157.
Jehovah’s Witnesses
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent, and only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Hare Krishna
Shit happens, rama, rama.
Moonism
Only really happy shit happens.
Jesuitism
How can we know if shit happens and nobody hears it?
Mesmerism
Sleep and no shit will happen.
Rastafarianism
Let 's smoke this shit.
Navajo
Shit happens in the wind and best in the shade.
Hopi
Corn fertilizer happens.
Maya
Shit happens in cycles.
Inca
Only holy shit happens.
Aztec
If shit happens, the Gods want to see more blood.
New Age
All shit is one shit.
Holism
When shit happens, it happens everywhere at once.
Hitchhikerism
If shit happens, the answer is 42.
Ecology
If organic shit happens, it 's OK.
Cannibalism
Eat only what does not happen.
Vegetarianism
If it happens to shit, don't eat it.
Hedonism
There 's nothing like a good shit happening!
Materialism
Whoever dies with the most shit, wins.
Fetishism
If shit happens, go for more.
Egotism
My shit happens.
Narcissism
I love this shit!
Cynicism
But of course shit happens.
Fatalism
Oh shit, it 's going to happen.
Meliorism
Shit is happening now, but it will soon cease to happen.
Futurism
More shit will happen sooner or later.
Realism
There is shit, as it happens.
Surrealism
Other shit could also happen.
Pragmaticism
Deal with shit one day at a time.
Skepticism
Maybe shit happens, but then again, maybe not.
Liberalism
Shit has a right to happen.
Pacifism
Give shit a chance to happen.
Hippie
Make happenings, not shit.
Punk
Never mind what happens.
Druidism
Shit happens around the Sacred Oak.
Satanism
!SNEPPAH TIHS
Voodoo
Shit happens from me to you.
Witchcraft
Mix this shit together and it will happen.
Wicca
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
Online
This shit never happens in real life.
Eschatology
You think shit happens now, you just wait.
Escapism
If shit happens, don't look back.
Atheism
I can't believe this shit!
Agnosticism
I don't know shit.
Nihilism
No shit.

1 comment:

  1. I sold posters that had this on them to fucking idiot college students in the south last year.

    ReplyDelete